Wild Heart

We are slaves of ourselves, we place barriers, chains, shackles and gags to what we are and want to be, or to what we think, to what we are passionate about, to what we want to achieve… we constantly blame the evil third parties for our failures:

.- It is because of my parents that I didn’t study what I wanted and I am a frustrated profesional.-

.-It is because of my couple that I never allow myself to study or work and today I feel useless.-

.-It is because my friends and family always made fun of my dreams and I quit fighting for them, to avoid being the lead on their jokes.-

We give other close of far people our frustration, and because of the conformism, fear, the ties of a heart and mind created to fly, but we maintain them in “the comfort zone”, we blame life, God, the rain, and so on so forth for the wrong things in our lives, the pain, suffering; however, What if you say to yourself that it is only a consequence of your own decisions, actions and omissions?

I am going to say something that I held for many years deep down my heart, and that made me target of bizarre jokes, which make me hide that passion… I always dreamed to be a librarian, yes, one of those who ask you to be quite.- shhhhhhhh this is not the playground!  The people whom I confessed this to laughed at me and they still do, that’s why I decided to quit, but I dreamed about knowing authors, books, history, I would imagine School students asking me:

Student: Miss Leal (Miss, of course, in my childish dreams, getting married was not the best idea) where can I read about the birth of the Roman Empire?

Miss Leal: You came to the right place, sweety. Let’s see the “Library cards” in the file.-(Yes, cards!).

In my stoppable heart, I wanted to be so many things, flight attendant (for the pantyhose and the adventures I would live) lefty drummer (the first one in Venezuela), even to have my own public library where I could research for a School Paper or reading The Little Prince would be an unforgettable adventure, but there’s always a “but”, I stopped my heart because I felt I couldn’t make it and every time I thought about it, I would add one kilogram of despair and one more brick to the wall that would separate me from my dreams.

Until today I blamed so many people and circumstances for the dreams that I left floating, as a little colorful cloud and I got used to dream what I could touch, the easy thing, tangible and “real”, I was so wrong; now I start to uplift my dreams, I dream of being a change agent for humanity; and if you think that I would end up telling you how that librarian became the best of my city, you are wrong, I have placed so many chains to the Tousled Raco that she can’t achieve whatever she wants,  it has been very difficult not to feel I won’t get it, it is my daily struggle, but this struggle took me a day at a time and I keep dreaming even when I say to myself .- perhaps I won’t make it… but don’t stop trying.-

I encourage you, as well as myself, to fight for your dreams that surely were placed in your heart by your Creator and for that reason you should know that they are not absurd or crazy, fight without giving up and conquer your dreams, as the wise, Maickel Malamed, whom with all his physical disabilities has become one of the most important man of this time, said:

“If you dream it, make it happen”